Who's Your Daddy?

In this city, one easy way to tell if you are entering a "less than safe" neighborhood is to look at the stores around you. There are three stores in particular that can only be found in abundance in these "LTS" areas: Liquor Stores, Bail Bond Shops, and Paternity Test Clinics. The general rule is that if you are driving and you see more than one of these per block, then you aren't exactly in the best section of town.

Now, the funny thing is that the paternity test clinics actually get pretty creative in their advertising. For example, one billboard all last year stated across the top: "FROM HERE TO PATERNITY," with a picture of two people rolling on the beach à la the famous scene from "From Here to Eternity." This year, that sign has changed to a picture of the Mona Lisa (complete with her enigmatic facial expression) holding a baby with a woman behind her whispering "so, who is the father?" Brilliant!!!

So, in a moment inspiration (though I'm sure some would beg to differ on my word choice) yesterday, I came up with the perfect billboard for next year. Picture this: A potato chip with arms, legs, and a face is the father holding his new baby with a very confused look on his face. This questioning look is explained when one looks at the baby, who is in fact a tortilla chip. The caption at the top reads: Well, clearly it's na-cho baby, so whose is it?

I should have majored in advertising...

Top ten reasons I can't wait to move into an apartment that was originally built as an apartment...

1. WASHER AND DRYER
2. Dish Washer
3. Closet Space
4. No more 3:00 am emptyings of the dumpster (one of the beauties of having windows facing an alley)
5. Non-radiator heat
6. No more driving 15+ minutes to find a parking space that ends up being 6 blocks from my apartment.
7. Centralized AC
8. I will no longer be trapped by the Comcast monopoly
9. BBQs Poolside!
10. A landlord that knows what he/she is doing

I'm back...

Sorry... it has been a Hectic month.

Anyways, my recital is done, I can breathe again. Of course I managed to get sick the day of the performance but got through it ok. The only thing it changed was that the soft and subtle notes just came out scratchy. Oh well, it's done and I passed (big sigh of relief).

What really weirds me out is that after 20 straight years of going to school (not including preschool), I have two weeks left. One paper, one presentation, and one test (sounds like a musical theater medley title) and it's all done.

I graduate the day before my 25th birthday. I think 25 is a good age to embark upon "real personhood."

Fool Me 15 Times...

Well, the good news is that congressman Tom DeLay is resigning. Don't let the door hit you on the way out buddy...

The bad news is that it has been just over a week since this story broke about our president's latest duplicity, and the public has seemingly forgotten about it. Have we simply become so numb to this man's lies that they no longer have an effect on us? THIS IS PROOF THAT BUSH WAS GOING TO GO TO WAR NO MATTER WHAT, AND HE LIED FREQUENTLY TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT IT.

Clinton was impeached for lying about a blowjob. Way to go. Huge breach of trust there. A lot of Americans died as a result of that lie... Many people may not know this, but actually over 2000 more Americans have lost their lives as a result of Bush's lies about Iraq than as a result of "Lewinskygate."

Crazy, I know...

Fore!!! Ok, maybe five or six...

Mark Twain once said "Golf is a good walk ruined." Clearly he wasn't drinking...

I have gone golfing a good eight or nine times in my life, and I am terrible at it. Last weekend I went with three friends of mine, shot around a 115, and couldn't have had a better time doing it. There is a certain "back to the roots of manhood" feeling that comes with trekking around a golf course with nothing but a set of clubs and a case of National Bohemian (for those of you on the west coast unfamiliar with this particular beer, think Pabst Blue Ribbon and go down a step in quality). Beyond this, there is a catharsis that occurs when you hit that perfect ball and think 'Tiger Woods couldn't have done it any better.' Though this only usually happens to me once or twice per 18 holes, it makes the whole trip worthwhile.

Who needs therapy? All I need is a driver, a designated driver, a ball, and a round at the local public golf course.

"To be, or... or... Damn, what's the line?"

I apologize for recent my lack of posts. All my life involves at the moment is memorizing for my recital which is TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY!!! I should have a few things to write about over the next few days.

How do You Spell Relief? T-E-N-O-R

In terms of performance/voice, this has been a VERY frustrating year. I'm not especially surprised, people are understandably weary about casting me as a tenor when A) They have only ever heard me sing baritone, and B) it is clear that I still need a few months or more to master all the intricacies of tenordom.

So imagine my surprise/elation when last week I was offered my first professional role as tenor. It's it's a medium sized part with a small opera company, but that's not the point. Someone has actually put their faith in me as a tenor soloist to the point that they are willing to pay me for it.

Every so often a struggling performer needs a vote of confidence from someone other than their teacher to show them that they are still going in the right direction with their career. After a trying year, I've finally got mine : )